Hello! I am a 31 year old woman currently living with a man who is five and a half years younger than me (Mr. Right). I am recently 'retired' from my first career as an attorney and Mr. Right is lovingly supportive in my new career endeavors.

Mr. Right: Younger Man

I think we are part of a trend in older woman/younger man relationships. Personally, I think it is the best possible combination for me. I also think it is unfortunate that many woman rule out the possibility of dating younger men based on outdated societal biases.

I hope to be married some day, but not right away. I think Mr. Right should get a chance to live life a little more before committing to me. Don't get me wrong, I certainly want to seal the deal with him eventually. But marriage is forever for me so I would like to make sure we're both going into it with enough life experience and maturity to make it stick.

Mr. Wrong

Before meeting Mr. Right I dated Mr. Wrong for a very, very long time. I was in a relationship from age 18 to 28. In this decathlon of a relationship we ran the gamut of obstacles: we were college sweethearts torn apart by our careers, our sex life ebbed and flowed, infidelity reared its head, we approached marriage but retreated at the very last and most painful moment. The killer was that it was LONG DISTANCE from the second year. Mr. Wrong was not abusive or anything like that. Which was why I had such a hard time breaking it off – he wasn't that bad. I spent a number of years feeling guilty about wanting to dump him but not having a reason I could pinpoint.

In between Mr. Wrong and Mr. Right, I dated, A LOT. I have been accused of dating every man in San Francisco. So it's a good thing that most of them have recently lost their jobs and moved back to Iowa and the East Coast so I'm not bumping into them at Ikea all the time.

My Philosophy: Black or White. Easy.

I believe every individual holds the secret to their own happiness in relationships, but they just need to have the guts to follow through with it.

If you are asking me if you should stay with Mr. x, my answer will be simple: If you have to ask, the answer is No!

When it comes to more squishy problems like "How do we work out division of household chores?" it gets more difficult. But the philosophy I apply here is still simple: Golden Rule Baby. Always remember that there are two parties involved in a relationship. If both parties treat each other with respect and love first before asking for respect and love, than the relationship will thrive.

Objective and Secular

I also have an objective, strictly secular view on love and relationships. I think people should take more personal responsibility for life and how they interact with others.

I have a unique perspective as an older woman dating a younger man as well as from what I deem a treasure trove of dating experience – ranging from blind dates to a ten-year relationship.

If the readers want a straight answer, with no fluff, I'm the one to ask.realname

– Vivi

Female, age 31, San Francisco, CA